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One For The Sportsmen

If you’re like me you can’t wait for summer to arrive.  Every time I walk by my boat, sitting all covered up in the garage, I imagine myself out on the lake reeling in a big one. Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.  One evening, after the honeymoon, he was loading […]

Diesel Fitter

Sven and Ole worked together in a Minnesota factory…..and both were laid off. So…dey went to the Unemployment Office togedder. Asked his occupation, Ole said, “Panty Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.” The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in […]

Lie Detector

Subject: Lie Detector A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day. The son says, “I did some schoolwork.” The robot slaps the son. The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was […]

An Appropriate Joke For The Times

An Appropriate Joke For The Times

  This an oldie but a goodie: Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patient to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York , says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered..” The second, from Chicago , responds, […]

It’s Two For One Day!

I think it’s time for a joke.  In fact, I’m going to throw in an extra joke for no extra charge!  All I ask in return is that you do your best Middle Eastern and Irish accent when you tell these.  Nothing makes a joke funnier than a bad accent. The Afghan Quarterback The coach […]

A Guy Walks Into A Bar...

A Guy Walks Into A Bar…

A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills.  He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s with the money in the jar?” “Well…., you pay $10, and […]

Very Punny: Part 2

The following list is a sequel to the one I posted some time back.  You can read those HERE. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine . A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating – always use condiments. […]

The Church Organist

There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have […]

The Crocodile And The Blond

The Crocodile And The Blond

A Guy walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons:  “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this crocodile’s mouth and place my manhood inside.  Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute.   Then he’ll open […]

Thank You For Shopping @ Walmart!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will […]